To All the Sleepy Moms Out There . . .

As a first time mom, I was surprised to discover what a big deal sleep is. 

Not YOUR sleep. 

But your child's sleep. . . 

                      because that directly influences how much sleep you get.

Practically every mom group and forum talks about this. There are very opinionated and heated discussions about sleep. There are also sad and depressing stories about sleep and the lack thereof. Professional blogs focus specifically on methods for getting your child to sleep. Yes, there are actual methods with names and acronyms (e.g., cry it out, CIO), child sleep professionals, and a number of books on the topic written by these professionals.

So getting your baby/toddler to sleep 

and to sleep on his/her own 

and to fall asleep peacefully 

and to sleep for longish periods (i.e., through the night) is a big deal.

One lesson I learned very quickly when Constance was just a few weeks old is that a given formula or method won't work for every parent or for every child. Sleep patterns and behavior are so variable between kids (even siblings, so I'm told). When a child is 3 months old, a specific approach may work well; and then when he/she is 9 months, you may have to drum up something entirely new. Breastfed babies sleep differently than formula or even bottle-fed babies.

A lot of mom/dad guilt is associated with using various child sleep methods: "I picked him up too early," "I didn't let her fall asleep on her own," "Everyone thinks it's wrong that we cosleep," "He cried for hours and hours." Seriously, a lack of sleep is worse enough: we don't need to add guilt on top.

After a year and a half, I've decided that although consulting forums, books, and blogs can be a little helpful, in the end you just have to trust your parental instinct. 

Why am I writing this post now?

Well, because after over a year of waking up multiple times at night and crying, Constance now mostly sleeps through the night in her crib. (Here I go bragging about this victory while I'm fighting a losing battle with naps.)

Constance started sleeping through the night around 2 or 3 months but then stopped a month later. A few weeks after the sleeping stopped, the first tooth appeared. And since then, it's been a nonstop process of teething. The molars were the absolute worst. 

I experimented with a couple sleep methods. But none of them really seemed to suite her. She's a determined little girl and if we left her in her crib under the pretense that she might fall back asleep, she would cry and cry and sob and get to the point where she was hyperventilating. If I picked her up then tried to put her back down when she started to doze again, she would get even more agitated. If I tried to hold her long enough so I could put her down without making her upset, I fell asleep.

And so I held and cuddled her until she was done with the whole teething process (we also tried a number of things to help with the teething at night). 

I remember the first night she slept through (about a month ago), my subconscious woke up at some point in the wee hours of the morning and reminded my brain that Constance should probably start crying around now. But when she didn't, I went back into deep mommy sleep until the sun came out and Constance made a few noises from her bedroom. 

And the weirdest part is that I'm more tired on the nights she sleeps all the way until, say 6 or 7 am, than on the nights when she wakes up around 3 or 4 am.

I know the whole sleep saga isn't ended yet, but sometimes it's nice to look back and think of how nice it is now compared to three months ago or a year ago or one week ago.

When we have our next child, I don't know that I would do anything different. I think I'll have to wait and see what that child is like and how quickly he or she gets teeth.

Temperament has such a big effect on sleep. Constance is the type that if she gets upset about something, you had better listen or she will escalate the issue and continue with the escalation indefinitely until you listen. As a child, I remember always having the hardest time falling asleep at night. It just didn't come naturally and I struggled for years until I went to college and could never get enough sleep.  

So if you don't have a young child, please savor your sleep if you can.

If you see a mom yawning in church, it may not simply be the result of a boring meeting but a rough night.

If you do have a child under the age of 4, my heart goes out to you.

If you are blessed with a child who sleeps like an angel, you've been lucky.

If you are up at night with a little one reading this post so that you can keep your eyes open, I hope that your chance to get some sleep comes soon. . . 

                   And remember, it will get better.

Fragile Toddler Arms

Normal Sunday morning.
Tom was teaching.
I was going to be sustained as Primary music leader.
Constance was going to nursery heaven.

Then a frustrated little girl decided to fight her Daddy on going up the stairs. He was holding her by one hand to help her go up the steps but she suddenly decided to go limp; and as she did, her body twisted and there was a soft popping noise on her arm.

She sat down and cried.
Then Daddy held her and she cried some more.
Then Mommy held her and she kept crying.
She didn't seem to really use her left arm. She could move it a little but would start crying every time she did or when we gently bumped into it.

So we packed snacks and hospital survival items and headed to Emergicare.
Apparently lots of other people decided to get hurt over the Memorial Day weekend and there was only one doctor there when we arrived, so it was a long wait. When the nurse finally saw us, she informed us that not only are holiday weekends a dangerous time but also is dinner and especially avocados. Breakfast is a much safer meal. Maybe we should all eat a bigger breakfast and skip dinner and avocados?

It was a good thing I bought some organic gummy bears last time we were at Sprouts because eating those kept the tears to a minimum for Constance, at least out when we were out in the waiting room. They were made out of organic sugar. Mmmmmm. I'm sure it's so much better than regular sugar. Maybe they should just put smaller amounts of sweetener, whatever it is, in our food. Tom and I philosophized about this possibility while Constance ate her gummy bears, then her string cheese, then her pretzels.

Finally, we got to go back.
A nurse took us to the X-ray room. Constance had stopped crying by now and would only whimper when we touched her arm. But as soon as we laid her down under that X-ray machine, she started screaming. I'm sure she was getting flashbacks to X-files and alien abductions. Poor girl. The first nurse even went outside and recruited another nurse to help hold her still.

Then another long wait in another hospital room. Good thing we brought the smart phones and tablet.
Another nurse came in and Constance started screaming again.
She was done with all of the folks in scrubs putting her under strange machines and sticking weird things on her feet and hands.

Then another long wait.
Finally, the PA came in.
X-rays didn't show anything but based on our description of what happened, she told us it was something called nursemaid's elbow. (You can read all about it here) The PA gently took Constance's elbow in one hand and held it with her thumb and fingers right at the joint. Then she rotated the arm and apparently there was a little pop as the ligament went back into place (I couldn't hear because Constance was once again screaming).

Almost immediately, Constance was back to her normal self. Since the accident she had been mopey and sad and just wanted to sit on my lap and droop her head down. Now she was laughing and jabbering and waving her hands in the air and reaching into her backpack.

I discovered a forgotten mini packet of M&M's in my purse and we all shared it to celebrate Constance feeling better.

Then someone from billing came in--another person in scrubs. Constance screamed again.
But as we walked out of the hospital, Constance waved goodbye to all the nurses.

She was such a good sport.
Tom had a package of Oreos that we bought for his lesson today (he was going to do a guy's version of a Relief Society lesson--treats, handouts, and a centerpiece).
We gave Constance one as soon as we got to the car.
She totally earned it.

So lesson learned: don't pick up your baby or toddler by their hands or arms. Even if it is just to help them up some stairs. Especially with strong-willed toddlers, you never know if they will rebel and go limp on you and then twist their arm ligament out of place.

In the Kitchen

We've been doing a lot of activities in the kitchen lately. I discovered a black folding chair in our garage that the previous owners left behind. It ended up being the perfect height for Constance to stand on next to the sink. 

We started with washing dishes together. Then I discovered that the best way to keep her engaged while I swept and mopped the living room and dining room area was to fill the sink with water and bubbles and give her a few utensils and cups to play with.
It's not a perfect set up.
Half of the time, the floor and counter next to the sink get soaked as she practices pouring water with different cups and containers. The other half, she stands there happily eating bubbles. It's like an addiction. She eats her bath bubbles too. I try and limit her bubble intake but I can tell that she just likes the feeling of them on her tongue and doesn't seem to swallow much.

Our latest cooking adventure is home made cheezits. (Recipe here)
After reading In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan, we've been trying to eat less out of the box and more from scratch.
Who knew a cracker that normally makes you feel sick after a few hand fulls would be so easy to make and possibly slightly better for you? It's only a few ingredients, and I discovered that I can make the dough ahead of time and store it in a ziplock in the fridge. Then we use portions of the dough every day to make fresh batches.

For FHE this week, we made some prints of Constance's hands using salt dough.
Tom is an expert on making salt dough, having previously used a similar recipe to create a volcano of sorts to impress me on one of our first dates.

Wow, we sure have changed a lot!

Meanwhile Constance made sure the kitchen sink was in working order and transferred all of the clean utensils from the drawer into the sink.

 We had some trouble getting Constance to hold her hands still while we pressed them down but it turned out looking pretty good.

Cooking and crafts can be kind of fun but I hate clean up. I need one of those self-cleaning kitchens. Do you know where I can find one?

Our Little Person

Constance is 18 months this month. She's officially a little person.

She brushes her own hair and teeth.

She has opinions about TV shows.
Mickey Mouse, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, and the Hive are at the top. We try not to let her watch too much TV. . . . . . . . . . . . but around the time she was born we were going through a Simpson faze (the only explainable way to describe our watching multiple episodes a night while Tom did his law school reading). So she's grown up with that theme song stuck in her head and every time it comes on, she squeals.

Constance balances her entertainment with piles of books which we read over and over and over and over. Her favorites are the peekaboo books that have the flaps she can lift and see what is underneath. I think we can safely say her favorite activity is reading. We make good use of my library card.

I tried putting all of her books in her bookshelves but that got too messy and she got too frustrated trying to put things back. So now I keep a small rotation of books lined up along the wall. She watched me put the books back a couple times and then figured out how to do it herself. It makes her so happy when she can manage her own affairs.

She is fascinated with any toy with wheels. I bought her a toy car at the dollar store and she's been transporting that vehicle all over our house. She likes the pull-along toys as well and we have a wood train that dates back to when I was kid which she pulls in circles around the couch.

Constance has recently expanded her repertoire of words. For the longest time she was stuck on "Mama" (rare), "Dadadadada" (very common), "apple," "hi," "babababababa," and "yayayayayayaya." Now she can say "dirty diaper," "thank you," "good," "yes," and "here." She speaks in full sentences complete with hand gestures and complicated intonations. I wish we had a baby translator because her statements are quite intriguing.

We do lots of "practical life" around the house. She's lost interest in most of her toys (partly because I need to get her more age-appropriate activities) and just wants to help me.
So we've figured out ways to work together to
sweep the floor (she holds the dustpan while I sweep then I help her throw the dirt and dust in the trash) clean up (she will throw things in the "gomi" upon request)
cook (she helps throw things in the mixing bowl or pot)
wash dishes (I fill up the sink with water and soap and she plays with the bubbles and helps me rinse)
put the dishes away (she carefully takes the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and hands them to me)
fix the bed (she picks up the pillows and hands them to me)
and fold laundry (she plays in the warm laundry while I fold and stack the clothes at a safe distance from her reach).
I love the age that she is at right now because it is getting easier to include her in activities around the house and easier for me to get things done.

Constance still really enjoys being around other little kids. She loves to watch them play and will collect toys and hand them out. We've had to divide the car between Tom and I mostly to save on gas but on the days when I have the car, I try to take her someplace where she can interact with other kids. Our favorites are the mall play area, the park, and the library.

In honor of the upcoming Mother's Day, Tom taught Constance to shake her finger at me. I will have to help her perfect her eye roll for Father's Day.

This statement on our fridge pretty much sums up life.

Easter

Constance has become very good at understanding and following directions. She can take a banana peel and put it in the "gomi" under the sink all by herself. She can put her dirty laundry in the hamper. She can put food away in the fridge. She understands much more than she expresses. Though she does express a lot--just in her own language.

This Easter, Constance was excited to find more plastic eggs around the house. She immediately wanted to open them and dump the contents onto the floor.

 At Grandma and Grandpa's, she had her own Easter egg hunt in the back yard.

 While Grandma and Grandpa were hiding the eggs, Daddy got her ready for the task ahead.

 She was so excited when she walked out the door and saw everyone standing there smiling, holding cameras, and deliberately making her the center of attention.

 She immediately spotted the first egg and knew exactly what to do.

 With a little help, she found all of the others scattered around the lawn.

 Then we went inside and she got to open each of the eggs and discover grapes, crackers, and little toys.

 It must have all been a bit exhausting because shortly after, she flopped down on the floor and starting talking to her eggs about all of their adventures together.

Talkin' about Dada

Constance loves her Dada.
It started when she was quite little.

When she started talking, "Dada" was one of her first words. Even when Dada was not around, she would wander the house chanting "Dadadadadadadada" with various intonations.

If you ask her to say "Dada," she will grin and say it. If you ask her to say "Mama" or "Mom," she will look at me, then mumble something incoherent or just say "Dada" again. She knows how to say my name. She just prefers saying Dada  instead.

Constance is very good about taking care of her Dada. She likes to keep his nose in good working order by pinching and poking it. When she doesn't hear "Hoooonnnk!!" then she assumes that Dada's head needs to be fixed and proceeds to pull his ear and poke his eyes and pat his face until she gets the appropriate response.

The other day, she and I were walking to the park. She stopped suddenly, crouched down, and pointed straight ahead. "Daaaadaaa!" Then she paused for a few seconds as if she was expecting Dada to jump down onto the road, Spiderman-style.

Constance is very concerned whenever Dada takes a shower. The other day, she kept knocking on the closed bedroom door and calling "Dada!" over and over again for several minutes. She knew he was in there somewhere. Of course, by the time I pull the camera out, she is at the end of her performance.

Our baby is slowly turning into a little girl who colors

plays with dolls

and cuddles with Mommy and Daddy.

She likes to run around our circular couch and come out giggling at us.
She likes to play outside at the park.
And she likes to eat string cheese by the mouthful.

Our New Home

Every day that we are in our new home I am thankful.

I'm thankful for a covered garage which means no scraping ice off the car windshield.

I'm thankful for three bathrooms. One for Tom; one for me; and one for Constance. Now I don't have to wait for Tom to get out of the shower in the morning before I can do my hair and change Constance's diaper.

I'm thankful for furniture. I was worried before the move that we would not have a place to sit the first weekend in our new home. Luckily we found a dining table on craigslist and my dad sent us money for a couch which we got at American Furniture (seriously, the best place to get nice furniture in Colorado for a good price). Constance loves the couch because she can get on it and run from Mommy's corner of the couch to Daddy's corner. Yay for circular sectionals!

I'm thankful that now it's easier to baby proof and allow Constance to help me with the daily chores around the house. Toys are so overrated when you could be "helping" Mommy wash the dishes.

And what a great view to look out on while washing those dishes. . .

I'm thankful for a beautiful park nearby. It has swings, slides, a sandbox, and a horsey. But Constance mostly just likes to run across the grass with her arms bunched up like a football player. She usually runs in one direction while looking back at me and smiling/laughing, which thankfully hasn't lead to too many trips and falls.

 When we first moved in, everything was everywhere. It was a gradual progression from stuff randomly stacked here and there, to organized piles, to things on shelves and put away in closets and cupboards.

 It's nice to have this little ledge along the stairway where we can put our family treasures.

Our bedroom is probably the best looking room in the house right now. We got the bedset from Peak Furniture (another great place for cheap furniture) after deciding that buying new was better than trying to figure out a way to transport large pieces of furniture bought off of craigslist.

We finally have the shelves for the library and maybe this Saturday we will get the books out of the garage and see how many we can fit in the allotted space. I would like to point out that I assembled two of the tall black shelves all by myself (with a little help from Constance who was crawling all over me). The good news is that I still know how to read instructions and use a screwdriver and hammer.

And then today, I came home with Constance's very own wood table and chairs. With her own (play) smartphone, table/chairs, and bedroom, she's quite the little grownup. I'm sure the next thing she'll want from Daddy is a computer and car.