Finding a Home

Let's face it. A 4-bedroom home just wasn't meant to house 3 families (7 adults, 1 child, 3 pets). So in an attempt to lessen our footprint on the immediate domestic environment, Tom and I began looking for other housing options as soon as he found out he was going to have a job.

I thought for sure we'd be moving into a house like this

I mean Tom's an attorney right? Ha ha ha ha ha aha ah ha.

Well reality hit after Tom got the details of the job offer and we lowered our expectations a bit. Every morning I'd look through the new home listings (it was a little therapeutic, I admit), and I quickly realized that if we wanted a decent house with not a lot of fix up and in a non-scary neighborhood, we would need to go the townhome route.

But then we ran into the problem of finding a townhome in our budget that would also be able to fit a baby grand piano in the front room. No tall stairs to the entrance. No winding hallways. It was beginning to get a little frustrating.

Then one day when we were out looking at homes, our realtor showed us this one

At first we were mildly impressed. Then after we thought about it more, we were even more impressed. (I mean there is a Taco Bell within walking distance from it.) Then after comparing it with everything else on the market within our budget and all the new properties coming on the market, we gave in and made an offer on it. Now every time I look at our future new home, it makes me happy. There is so much I like about it.

 Vaulted ceilings and hardwood floor in the living room and dining room.

 A gas fireplace downstairs in the family room with a sliding glass door

 Immaculate bathrooms with new cabinets and flooring

 A cute little room for Constance and perhaps future additions

 A two-car garage with plenty of space to store stuff

 Fancy little arched doorways

 A beautiful view from the kitchen (you can't really see it here) with new countertops

 A master bedroom attached to its own full bathroom and patio. No more tip-toeing past Constance's crib on our way to the bathroom at night--what a luxury!!

 Wonderful lighting, both natural and electrical

A pretty decent neighborhood, all things considered, which is walking distance to a park

The current owners did a lot to remodel and fix up the place before putting it on the market. And we got a pretty good deal on it, considering what other units in the neighborhood have sold for. If everything goes well, we should be moving next month.

Looking Back

It's interesting how a little bit of time can give you perspective and too much time can steal insights right out of your limited memory. Already, there are events that happened while Tom and I were dating that I don't remember well at all. So now that I am safely on to the married-and-have-kids phase of life, I thought it might be useful to write down thoughts from my college years--advice that I would want to pass on to my kids when they get to be that age.

1. Prayerfully consider going on a mission. Everyone comes out from a mission having learned some very important life, social, and spiritual skills. Everyone's experience will be different. For me, my mission played a very unique role in changing my life. It was my declaration of independence from the persona I had forced myself into up until my mission. It was when I realized what I needed to do to become who I wanted to be. It was when I learned to text. It was when I learned to fill up gas in a car. It was when I learned how to think and speak outside of myself. It was unfortunate that I had to wait until my mission for some of these goals to become a reality, but many wonderful things began to happen during and right after my mission. I learned how to laugh again. I learned what it meant to have feelings and express them in a way that others could understand.

2. Make those hard, life-changing decisions that you know you need to make. The big, life-changing decision for me was to move out of the house right after I got home from my mission. I didn't even spend the night with my mom the day I came home. I slept at a mission friend's house. The specifics of this decision I would not recommend to anyone, but in my situation it was absolutely necessary. There were a lot of tears, a lot of "why are you doing this," and I still hear this repeatedly even after 5 years have passed: "When you came home from your mission something was different and I don't understand why you did the things you did." Yes, everything was different. I had realized what I needed to do with my life. And I had the support of wonderful friends and leaders which helped make the tough decision easier to follow through on.

3. Find a balance between your education and your social life. I didn't do a great job at this. I was so used to burying myself in school in order to escape the other aspects of my life that were unpleasant. But college isn't all about what you learn in the classroom and what grades you get; it is also about the people you meet and those sometimes awkward singles ward activities that you show up to. I am so glad I ended up in an apartment with great roommates. And I am so glad that I got a shared room instead of a private one. Private rooms encourage seclusion and if you are already inclined to find your own little corner, a shared room will definitely get you out of your comfort zone. Besides, if you've gone a mission, you'll know that having a challenging roommate isn't near as hard as having a challenging companion. You don't have to spend every waking hour with them in site.

4. Be nice to the guys who ask you out. I didn't know this before but apparently lots of guys are afraid of asking girls out because often a girl will turn them down because she feels like a date with someone she isn't sure she likes is too much of a commitment. My policy was not to intentionally make it hard for any reasonable guy who asked me out on a date. The flip side to this is not to lead a guy on. Flirting when you want to be "just friends" definitely sends mixed messages.

5. Get a job. Yes, you can work and go to school. Don't get a job that will prevent you from staying on schedule in school but don't sell yourself short either. Jobs provide opportunities for social interactions and for developing useful life skills. Besides, even if you have a diploma in hand, most employers these days want to see someone with at least some work experience. I worked two jobs my last year in school. It was a pretty rigid schedule but I made enough to be fully financially independent and that felt great.

6. Begin to establish the important habit of saving money. It's all about spending less money that you earn and planning ahead so you can make enough for your basic needs. Money can be really short when you are trying to work and go to school and pay the rent and health insurance and tuition and books. If you don't have scholarships, it is pretty much impossible to pay for all your needs. But focus on what you can pay for and establish a budget where you keep track of your spending.

In November 2009, I earned approximately $600 (two-week paycheck). During those two weeks, I spent $28 on food, $26 on gas, and $15 on miscellaneous and put aside $50 toward car insurance, $150 toward monthly rent, and $25 toward my phone bill. I saved $346 (remember, though, that this is from working two jobs--which was a bit ridiculous)

Oh to live during those simpler days. Nowadays our food bill is triple, gas is more expensive, health insurance is unbelievably expensive, and miscellaneous "needs" crop up more often. But we have a savings thanks to my budgeting which started years ago. Our savings have got us through months of unemployment and costly medical bills.

7. (This one is to the parents) Don't be afraid to help your college-age kids without being asked. Being in college and trying to find in a balance in your life and still be as independent as possible can be really stressful. A surprise check in the mail or deposit in the bank account can mean a lot, especially when there are no strings attached. Realize that your kids are now adults and not teenagers. Of course, you don't want to do and pay for everything because that defeats the goal of your college kid being independent. But seriously, don't be stingy because your kids will know it and feel it if you are.

8. And finally, remember that your timetable for getting married will be different from everyone else's. It can be very depressing seeing all your friends going out on dates, having boyfriends, getting engaged, and getting married. But you have to realize that life is not a competition about who is first to do all of these types of things. I didn't go on any dates until 9 months after my mission. I wasn't really actively seeking any though and I kind of enjoyed the time to focus on finishing school and getting a job. But it did get to the point when I was starting to wonder if anyone was ever going to ask me out. And then it happened. This guy did.

The Adventures of BBB

While Tom and I have been searching for jobs, looking for homes, prequalifying for a mortgage, doing taxes, and taking care of other mundane adult tasks, Constance has been having adventures of her own.

When the weather took a sudden turn to the frigid and snowy, we had to come up with more indoor activities to amuse ourselves. Playing with Jello never ceases to entertain a one-year-old. I made it with a bunch of toys/items buried in the Jello. Constance has fun digging out the treasures and dipping them into a container of warm water to clean them off. I love this activity because I don't have to worry about her putting things in her mouth since it is just Jello and water.

It does get a bit messy, especially last night when she decided to dump all the squishy, wet Jello out of the container and onto the towel.

Constance loves to play in the play area at the mall, so we go there quite often when we want to get out of the house but it is too cold to be outside. Constance loves to climb up and slide down, and she often makes friends in the process.

After exploring the play area, we usually wander over to the pet store so she can squeal at the puppies in the window. Then we go for a ride in the ice cream truck.

 Or the car . . .

Last week, we did take her outside to experience the snow. But it was so cold we had to retreat back inside after only a few minutes. Constance seemed to enjoy being an Eskimo, but I lost her mittens so her poor hands got a little cold.

Constance is getting better at following directions. She will respond to "Come here" and is very successful in locating her nose when asked to.

Constance likes to wave both hands when she is coming and going. Whenever she sees other children or babies, she usually waves and says something that sounds like Hello.

When we were looking at homes this week, the first thing she did when we walked in the front door is head straight for the stairs. She is addicted to climbing up stairs and falling down them. I'm trying to teach her how to go down them properly but she is a bit stubborn and insists on doing it the grownup way, which for her means taking a step off into thin air and tumbling down.

Constance is always up for an adventure. She has no fear of heights, climbing on top of things, or vocalizing her feelings in whatever way she deems appropriate. But if a stranger smiles at her and says hello, she immediately gets shy and tries to hide. All in all, she's a fun little toddler.

Starting Off the New Year

2014 is going to a year of great adventure, formidable challenges, breathtaking triumphs, and monumental steps.

We began on January 1 2014 in the family basement with our boxes and living essentials piled high around us, absolutely no income or prospect of one, mystery illness and nonmysterious medical bills, and a little one-year old pinching our faces and laughing hysterically. January started out as a pretty depressing month. But apparently once you think you've hit your lowest, that's when you get pushed a little lower and then something really good happens.

First off, Tom got his dream calling as Sunday School teacher and I as Primary pianist. It's a good thing they didn't switch our callings between us because then it would have instead been "the calling most like unto a nightmare."

Two weeks ago, Tom received a random voicemail on a Monday morning while he was in the shower. It was from a law firm here in Colorado Springs. Tom called them back and had a brief phone interview. The next day he went in for a 60-minute-long, in-person interview. I got pretty far in The Brothers Karamazov (the book I've been trying to read for the past year) before he finally came out. The next week he had a job offer. Looks like we'll be staying here in the Springs!

I took Tom suit shopping this past week. It's the first time clothes shopping where (1) he has actually come with me and (2) he was excited about it. We made a nice investment at Joseph A. Banks in 2 suits and 2 pairs of dress shoes. While Tom was receiving advice about suits, trying them on, and getting measured for adjustments, Constance wandered around the entire store and reviewed the inventory.

We've also met with a realtor and are considering housing options. I am most excited about the prospect of having a little more space and privacy for ourselves (apparently there are just so many ways to rearrange the piles of stuff without it being absolutely useless). It will probably be a small condo/townhome to get us through the next few years while Tom gets experience at the firm and slowly works up the pay scale.

In the meantime, I'm editing again, which is something I greatly enjoy. If trends continue, 2014 should be a really good year, perhaps even better than 2013