4 of My Favorite Comments about Pregnancy and Birth

This post is not what you think it is.
Please take everything you read here with a huge block of salt.

Ok, shall we begin?

1. If you become pregnant before your previous child is 2 years old (fully weaned) then you are abusing the powers of procreation and need to repent.

This one gets the award for best response ever to a pregnancy announcement.

2. I noticed that you picked up much weight when I first saw you after you had given birth. I hope you learned from your first birth (pregnancy) that you need to change this time.

This one gets the award for best comment ever about a postpregnant lady. 

3. A healthy weight for a newborn baby is between 4 and 6 pounds. Anything more than that and you've been eating wrong during pregnancy.

4. How is your sacrum spinal joint?

Most creative way to ask a pregnant woman how she is doing.

All of these comments come from the same person. Those who know me well will know who that person is.

Oh, and it's not my mother-in-law. She's an angel.

A Prickle-Free Christmas

Tom started no-shave November during Thanksgiving and kept it going into December. His boss at work said it made him look older and he should keep it. Somehow it helps establish greater ethos with clients when you can stroke a beard with one hand while thoughtfully saying, "So you have legal problems, do you?"

But folks closer to home weren't a huge fan. Tom's parents started worrying that he was going to actually keep the scruffy look. And so he decided to shave it off. 

After growing such a nice long beard, it seemed a shame to destroy it without some sort of fanfare. 

And so early Christmas morning, Constance woke us up and we went downstairs to open the "Santa" presents. By then, she had all of the details about Christmas morning down to the following: "Santa come put presents under the tree and we open." Needless to say, she was excited to see that her theory was true.

After opening her present from Mr. V (a dollhouse) and from Santa (lacing beads) we went back upstairs to begin the main event.

 First came the goatee

Then the Mario mustache

And then the mustache

And then it all came off. Tom wrapped a box and put a label on it then I cut a peephole in it for him. We headed over to Grandma and Papa's house.

At first his mom didn't even notice that Tom had a box on his head. But then she got to open it and was very happy about what she found inside.

Constance was both a lucky and unlucky girl this Christmas.
She was lucky to get all of the wonderful presents such as

a doggy guitar

 a Rapunzel nightgown

 and a Rapunzel doll and princess dress

along with some cute outfits, great movies, a play cake set, magnetic paper dolls, and bath toys (this list is most certainly incomplete).

She was also an unlucky girl because halfway through opening presents at Papa's house, she asked me to hold her and became very still and droopy. After an embarrassing incident that ended up with her getting hosed off in the shower and Grandma doing a load of laundry, she just wasn't herself the rest of the day.

The next day started off very early with me doing a load of laundry containing bedding and Constance getting a bath. After her bath, she fell asleep in Daddy's arms. She wouldn't talk much, wouldn't eat--just wanted lots of water and hugs.

Daddy and Papa gave her a blessing.
Around 6 she perked up a little and asked for a smoothie.
A little while later she started walking around and playing with her toys and informing us exactly what she wanted.
Around 2 am the following morning she told us rather loudly that she wanted "to eat." We processed this information rather sleepily but were happy that she was feeling better.

So it was a sad end to Christmas but Constance became a princess, a rockstar, and a pirate; and Grandma's wish came true.

Mawage, That Bwessed Awangment, That Dweam wifin a Dweam...

Tom and I celebrated 4 years of blessed dreaminess this month.

It was on the shortest, darkest day of the year (winter solstice) with a foot or more of snow on the ground that we got married in the Timpanogos, Utah, temple. If you look closely at our wedding pictures, you can see our blue lips and cold hands.

Tom forgot to bring our wedding rings but remembered at the last minute.
My dad and uncle had to dig my car out of the snow and I made it to the temple but was late and breathless and cold.
The starter on my car went bad the day after our wedding so we ended up swapping cars with Tom's family so we could still go on our roadtrip honeymoon.
The "honeymoon suite" in Fruita, Colorado, turned out to be the handicap-equipped room, but we didn't complain after 5+ hours on the road.
We returned from spending Christmas in Colorado to discover that we had absolutely no silverware in our belongings or in our wedding presents, so we ordered pizza that first night in our apartment.

And thus began the "dream within a dream" . . .

Over the next 4 years, we hiked down the most beautiful sea cliffs in the world
(illegally, I might add)

 hosted murder mystery Halloween parties
(by sneaking into the rec room in our old singles' apartments)

 took Futurama to a whole new level
(Happy Birthday Bryson!)

had this beautiful little angel
(and a couple of kidney stones as well)

escaped law school
(whew!)

took an important test

(seriously the worst test ever inflicted upon a human being)

 became part of an important association
(Tom was sick that day)

bought a house
(we're broke)

 moved a piano to Colorado
(such a looooong drive)

 and decided to venture into parenthood again with baby #2
(Tom is outnumbered 3 to 1)

To celebrate all of these accomplishments and more, we decided to go out for a fancy breakfast in downtown Colorado Springs. The goal was to spend $25 and no more since Tom had a gift card for that amount.

Tom ordered breakfast tacos and I ordered pancakes. Then to round it off, I got the expensive orange/coconut juice.

 Fancy as the tacos were with avocado and chorizo, Tom is still a devoted fan of Taco Bell tacos. And in case you didn't know, yes, Tom is growing a fancy beard (more on that in a later post).

I had the Hawaiian, blueberry, and cinnamon pancakes. The Hawaiian was my favorite--no surprise there. It had chunks of pineapple in it and coconut sprinkled on top.

I look forward to the next gift card Tom gets, as well as to all the happily-ever-after years to come!

Christmas Letter

If I don't have your email then you didn't get our Christmas letter, so here it is as well. If you'd like to be added to the mailing list, just send me a message on Facebook with your latest and greatest email address!

Formal printed, mailed Christmas cards just aren't going to happen this year. I apologize for the disappointment if you were looking forward to seeing a photo of me at 7 months pregnant, but honestly I think this cute picture of Constance from just 1 month ago is much better.

2014 was an eventful year.

- Tom became an employed attorney at a small law firm here in town

- We bought a townhome

- Tom turned 30 and was rewarded with the couch of his dreams

- I attempted to get a little closer to the above number but inevitably most people still think I'm in my teens

- Constance turned 2

- I became pregnant with baby #2 

Those are the highlights. Now if you want to know some juicy details . . . 

Tom's adventures as an associate attorney have taken him in and out of court multiple times a week, into the DMV office, into the Social Security office, up to Golden, Colorado, down to Walsenberg, Colorado, and over to Canon City Correctional Facility. It all sounds much more exciting on paper than it really was, especially when Constance and I were trying to chauffeur him around. But at least he wasn't locked in a dark dungeon--oh wait, that sounds like his office at 8:00 at night.

Meanwhile, I've resumed editing--during naptime only--for the natural history journal I worked with previously. Every paper I've worked on this year is going to be published in a Channel Islands monograph (think of a giant book with lots of scientific research). And every paper I've edited has talked about an island in one way or another. This in no way has helped my homesickness for Hawaii, but it has helped pay the bills and allowed Santa to come this year. Plus Tom says it's a great boost to his credibility when people ask what his wife does and he tells them she edits for a science journal. 

While I will gladly accept respectful comments on my ability to wade through scientific names and experimental data, I feel like my biggest accomplishment this year was 1) weaning Constance, 2) getting Constance to finally sleep through the night, and 3) surviving the first trimester morning sickness and everything following while still providing edible meals for our household and keeping most of the dust and dirt at a reasonably level.

Constance has led an exciting life this year. She learned how to speak in sentences, sing "The Eensy Weensy Spider" and "Wheels on the Bus," count to 11, create abstract sketches on paper and on herself, make her own pancakes, and read books about animals and princesses. She specializes in keeping everyone in the room well hydrated with "apple juice." She can do her own hair and makeup, give kissies to anyone with an owie, and run in circles until she is dizzy. She is pretty excited about baby Ana in Mommy's tummy and gives her little sister lots of hugs and kisses as well as pokes and kicks and squishies (to my great dismay and discomfort). 

Tom is currently serving as the ward librarian and Elder's Quorum teacher, I am the Primary music leader, and Constance is a nursery specialist. For Constance, "church" doesn't start until nursery begins and a prayer ends whenever she decides that she's had enough and loudly says "Amen!"

Although we did not provide you with a beautiful printed Christmas card, we are gladly accepting such cards and will proudly display them on our fridge (until Constance rips them down).

We hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2015!

Love,

Tom, Shelsea, Constance, and (soon to be) baby Anastasia

Getting Ready for Christmas

After almost 4 years of marriage, Tom and I have never had our own Christmas tree before. It's kind of sad. We probably should have acquired a tree during one of those more prosperous years but we didn't. Granted the apartment we lived in didn't have a lot of room in the living room, besides the space taken up by my baby grand piano, the fireplace, our TV, the rocker, and Tom's bookshelves. 

But once you have kids, they get excited about pretty lights and big green trees with round sparkly objects. 

So we went to Target on a brisk Saturday morning and happened upon a $15 tree. Tom took responsibility for paying for it and the lights and the one box of ornaments. I later discovered more ornaments at the dollar store and brought those home as my contribution.

When Constance woke up from her nap on Sunday, we started putting everything together.

 She was so excited about the tree and the pretty lights. She carefully helped hang all of the ornaments and at least once a day, I will catch her rearranging them on the tree.

 Yep, that's an X-men blanket under the tree.

Besides the tree, we are mostly just enjoying what we already have--whether it is the "empty" jar of Nutella which Constance refused to let me throw away.

or what Constance calls "Papa" cereal.

But last Saturday, I begged Tom to get me out of the house. I had a cold all week and just when I started feeling better on Friday, Constance came down with a fever and was practically glued to me all day.

So we went to Jamba Juice and I got my smoothie. Then we headed over to Smashburger to get Tom his food.

He took one bite of that burger and just about died and went to heaven.

My smoothie felt good on my stomach but I looked through the Smashburger menu jealously. Nine months is a long time to wait before I can enjoy food again.

I'm trying not to count down to anything besides the next paycheck these days because it seems to help me not worry about things I can't control. But Constance is meanwhile counting down everything.

She just recently figured out the numbers 1-10 (though for some reason refuses to say "seven") and today added on 11, 12, and 13 on her own.

In the morning when I'm doing her hair, I put on some nursery rhyme collections from YouTube which introduce a lot of numbers, letters, animals, and sounds. She must be picking up on those because all Tom and I do is help her practice her counting when she wants to do it. She's not very good at holding up the appropriate fingers for each number but she counts out loud to herself and with different objects around the house.

She also knows the letters and phonetic sounds for "a," "m," "d," and "b." I probably should do a better job at teaching her more but in the meantime, it's nice to know our child will probably be ready to read the Illiad by age 3.

Our Thanksgiving

We had Thanksgiving in Colorado Springs this year. And unlike most years, no road trip was involved--only a quick drive up Academy to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Early Thanksgiving morning, Constance was overjoyed to hear a knock on the door and then open it to see Papa standing there. While Tom obligingly rolled out of bed and took a shower, Constance went around collecting various dolls and stuffed animals for Papa to hold. She made sure he was both comfortable and entertained. 

Then we all put on our coats and went out into the garage to attempt to make sense of the boxes piled along the walls. Grandpa helped us put stuff on the shelves and Constance ran around being as helpful as a 2-year-old can possibly be.

Constance went ahead with Tom and Grandpa to help prepare the feast and I stayed behind to finish sewing some Christmas presents for her cousins.

When the food was finally ready, it was quite a sight for sore eyes and empty stomachs.

 We all sat down and went around reading the traditional Thanksgiving poems.

 Here were ours.

Constance was pretty excited about her seat at the head of the table.

 But as soon as Papa had said "Amen" for the blessing on the food, she snatched up an Andes mint and ran away to hide behind the pool table and exercise equipment so she could unwrap and lick it until her face and hands were a beautiful brown color.

Meanwhile, Daddy enjoyed his food.

 And Constance never returned to eat her dinner.

 She also never took a nap but was extremely good all day. Around 7:30, she started looking a bit droopy and just wanted to snuggle next to Grandma and watch Mickey Mouse.

We took her home and put her to bed early but she was so overtired, she woke up several times during the night screaming. Finally Constance fell asleep in her daddy's arms around midnight only to wake up bright and early the next morning ready to see Papa and little Woof Woof again.

Constance's Birthday Celebration

Two years ago I was 41.5 weeks pregnant and desperate to convince our little baby to come sooner rather than later. That weekend it snowed several inches and on Saturday morning I put on my coat and gloves and shoveled our entire walkway and driveway. The next evening I went into labor with our little Lux Constantia.

This year was a bit similar in that Constance's actual birthday fell on the coldest day of the week and in the middle of our first serious snowstorm of the season. That, among other reasons, convinced us to hold her actual birthday celebration a few days later on Saturday when all of our family could be there.

Saturday morning Constance woke up bright and early and helped me fold the laundry, put away the dishes, and get ready for the party. We got her into her party dress and then she sat patiently waiting for Papa to come. She was very anxious about him coming and kept running to the door.

 Then Papa and Grandma came and Aunt Melanie and Uncle Daniel were not far behind.

 Between all four of them, Constance definitely got spoiled. Grandma and Papa got her a doll complete with every accessory you would ever want. That present was definitely a winner because she immediately started taking care of that dollie and hasn't stopped since.

 Grandma and Grandpa also bought her some clothes for the holidays and a Mickey Mouse clubhouse DVD which is one of her favorite shows.

 Dan and Melanie got her other favorite show "The Hive" and a giant stuffed horsey and Pez dispenser (which was normal size).

 Grandpa V sent her a LeapFrog tablet. And Great Grandma Stone sent her some pop-up books.

 And then for the final unveiling . . .

 Her own little kitchen that Mommy and Daddy got off of Craiglist last month and hid under a bunch of blankets until her birthday.

She got right to work with putting her new dollie in the oven and turning up the heat.

 And then it was time for the cake. I made her a special cake just for herself this year with a cream cheese frosting. Here's the recipe I used.

 She didn't quite know what to do with the candles for a minute but then she blew them both out like a big girl.

 We're so glad she had a good birthday this year. Get ready for next year though because Tom says we'll be having a combined Tom-Constance birthday party that will be even bigger with friends, robots, monkeys, and family all in attendance.