Why I'm Not Freaking Out

As a first time mom two years ago, I have to admit that I freaked out over lots of things. By which I mean that I took everything about having a baby a bit more seriously than I do now that I'm on the second time around. I think it's a natural occurrence as a first time parent.

It didn't help that around the time when I was due to have Constance I was desperate to get out of my job situation, escape the problems that came with it, leave behind a boss who drove me crazy, and take a long peaceful maternity leave never to return again. I even started my maternity leave a week early because I convinced myself I needed the time to myself. Then Constance didn't come until two and a half weeks later.

With this baby, I'm lucky enough not to be in search of an excuse to leave an annoying job. In fact, it is the exact opposite situation.

Two weeks ago, Tom was contacted by another law firm here in town. They interviewed him and offered him a job a few days later that included a significant pay increase from what he has been getting at his present job--as in, now I will finally be able to get body wash and trash bags from someplace other than the dollar store!

This new job is a huge blessing.

But he doesn't start the job until February 1st and obviously doesn't get his first paycheck for the new job until mid-February. So I don't want the baby to come before then. Also, I've been procrastinating a lot of the new baby preparations because of the hope for a little more money soon.

My to-do list is pretty long:

1. Get oil changes for both cars
2. Stock up on freezer meals
3. Organize the closet in the kids' bedroom
4. Buy a swing/bouncer
5. Clean the house (My "nesting" instinct doesn't come naturally)
6. Sew
7. Get a haircut

I also need to finish editing 3 more research papers on the Channel Islands. So the baby can definitely not come before then or I might never learn the thrilling end to how land managers have been killing weeds and planting plants on the California Islands.

So I'm not freaking out about the baby coming soon enough; rather, I'm freaking out about getting all of my tasks done before baby Ana decides to make an appearance. It's a different though related malady.

Besides the money excuse, another obstacle is making it a little challenging to get my baby preparations done: morning sickness. Yes, it came back hard and strong this last month. The worst part is that I've lost my appetite. I really do miss being hungry for something and being able to eat it.

A lesser known fact about this pregnancy (besides the fact that I sure do complain a lot about being sick) is that I actually did take baby bump pictures; they just aren't publicized.

20 weeks

37 weeks

I feel huge but I guess I'm really not. I don't know whether or not I should find that observation comforting.